Today I must introduce you to the underdogs. The people that make life less arduous a task but in the background lead full complicated lives themselves. Unfortunately, they are a little less privileged. I love most of them to death, others I cant stand and Mr Justus just frustrates the crap out of me. I mean he makes me want to defaecate in public whilst expelling fumes of anger from my ears. Involuntarily of course.
Players
Oluchi-Maid
Emeka-Security guard
Matthew-Driver
Joy-Former Maid
Margeret-Former Maid and friend of joy
Justus-Crazy Security guard
Oluchi is the verbose troublemaker that basically runs the house because she is in everyone's good graces. It turns out that one weekend when my parents were away Matthew, our university educated driver with a statistics degree, came to pick her up for a "date". When my parents returned, the security guard Emeka, in a palsy attempt to get on my parents' good side whilst kicking Oluchi out of the VIP list,reported the "illicit" activity to the authorities. My parents promptly called Oluchi in for questioning.
Mum:Oluchi so did you go anywhere when we were away. (Notice this is not a question)
Oluchi: Emm...Yes mummy I went to Daytona down the road.
Mum: So how did you get there?
Oluchi: I took Okada.
Mum: So Matthew didn't come to pick you up in a car?
Oluchi: Em...he just came for some time ....he just-
Mum: But didn't you just say that you took okada?
Did I mention Oluchi was a trouble maker? Well my parents happened to go out of town again and this time Oluchi was out for revenge. Upon my parents return Oluchi came crying to my mother.
Oluchi:Mummy, Emeka beat me when you were not here. He said I gave him rotten beans but the beans was Ok.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Unaltered truth or Filtered thoughts
I moved to Canada from Nigeria a couple of years back and one of the first things I hated was the fact that people did not speak their minds. I mean, I would trot about town with my zipper undone or with meat lodged in the crevices of my teeth and no one ever thought it necessary to call these defects to my attention. It seemed to me like they assumed that it was the more appropriate thing to let you mind your own business. They seemed to show almost no concern when it came to things that could be offensive. Par exemple, once in art class we were to be making stencils for silk screening but unfortunately that's just not my thing. I hate working with computers, I am more the old fashioned painter. My teacher in response to my lack of progress commented on my inefficiency with the offensive assertion that I was the underachiever of the day. Only one person laughed and you already know he wasn't raised by Canadians. My teacher spent the better part of his life on Spanish soil.
This sent my thoughts flying the several thousand miles home to Nigeria. Every morning on our way to school my friends and I, would have this conversation
Ugochi: Mimi you have eye shit.
Maiya: Well you have waaaay more eye shit than me and your shirt isnt tucked in properly
Ugochi: Did you brush today 'cos your mouth is smelling...is that plaque I see on your teeth?
Maiya: Stop spitting on me! The acid in your breath is burning my face and go and brush your hair you look like you just rolled out of bed
And we would all go to school looking fresher than MoFo's (pardon my french). This type of honesty seems desirable and it is definitely appreciated when you are an SS1 girl hustling to look your best. However where does one draw the line? Do you speak your mind to everyone or just people you are well acquainted with? What defines "well acquainted"? Must you have known this someone for four weeks or must this person have spent at least one night with you complete with the harsh realities of morning breath et al? When does speaking your mind stop being blatant, well appreciated honesty and becomes evidence of forwardness and insensitivity? When it comes to ones thoughts which is the best policy? The hush hush simplicity of Canadians or the crude honesty of Nigerians?
This sent my thoughts flying the several thousand miles home to Nigeria. Every morning on our way to school my friends and I, would have this conversation
Ugochi: Mimi you have eye shit.
Maiya: Well you have waaaay more eye shit than me and your shirt isnt tucked in properly
Ugochi: Did you brush today 'cos your mouth is smelling...is that plaque I see on your teeth?
Maiya: Stop spitting on me! The acid in your breath is burning my face and go and brush your hair you look like you just rolled out of bed
And we would all go to school looking fresher than MoFo's (pardon my french). This type of honesty seems desirable and it is definitely appreciated when you are an SS1 girl hustling to look your best. However where does one draw the line? Do you speak your mind to everyone or just people you are well acquainted with? What defines "well acquainted"? Must you have known this someone for four weeks or must this person have spent at least one night with you complete with the harsh realities of morning breath et al? When does speaking your mind stop being blatant, well appreciated honesty and becomes evidence of forwardness and insensitivity? When it comes to ones thoughts which is the best policy? The hush hush simplicity of Canadians or the crude honesty of Nigerians?
Four letter Cacophony (april 30, 2009)
So I am totally on the "Its really difficult to study P". Everytime I pick up my books to study in the common room someone or another wants to run or watch TV downstairs disturbing my peace. However, do not panic people I have decided that the best place to study is in the bathroom closeted between my tub and my water closet (HEHE). So this girl, African Beyonce, has been messing with my friend. A mon avis, grudges are for the people who have nothing better to do with their lives than ponder upon a certain disagreement for hours on end.
In other news, I strayed into facebook today and I stumbled upon this group or whatever called "cuddling" and you can become a fan of it and what not and I just felt a wave of loneliness you know. It would be really nice to have someone to warm me up as I ponder upon the theories of evolution. But we all know thats not happening anytime soon.
On the other hand, I have been having this annoying itch to swear! In an attempt to get it out of my system I decided to curse my ass off yesterday but as you can imagine I have become mesmerized by the exhilarating sensation that rushes through my body as I pronounce that cacophonous four letter word "FUCK!". My conversations yesterday sounded something like, "You Motherfucker, shut the Fuck up, Do you have a Fucking windmill in your Fucking head? Why the Fuck are Your Fucking arguments so Fucking stupid. Fuck Face!". Even now as I type it, I feel a sudden rush of energy. The adrenaline begins to pump accelerating my heart rate and I understand for a brief moment why people that swear always seem so angry, aggressive, powerful and as I originally perceived unladylike. The word just comes with such ferocious intensity that it is difficult to contain its effect. The word "FUCK" conveys violence and immense discontent that not only incites anger in the speaker but in the listener as well. La pouvior que cette mot porteuse est incroyable.
Wow. I need to go study. I am ranting like I am on some sort of hallucinogen. God will help me in my exams! Amen! and hopefully he would help me curb this desire to swear.
In other news, I strayed into facebook today and I stumbled upon this group or whatever called "cuddling" and you can become a fan of it and what not and I just felt a wave of loneliness you know. It would be really nice to have someone to warm me up as I ponder upon the theories of evolution. But we all know thats not happening anytime soon.
On the other hand, I have been having this annoying itch to swear! In an attempt to get it out of my system I decided to curse my ass off yesterday but as you can imagine I have become mesmerized by the exhilarating sensation that rushes through my body as I pronounce that cacophonous four letter word "FUCK!". My conversations yesterday sounded something like, "You Motherfucker, shut the Fuck up, Do you have a Fucking windmill in your Fucking head? Why the Fuck are Your Fucking arguments so Fucking stupid. Fuck Face!". Even now as I type it, I feel a sudden rush of energy. The adrenaline begins to pump accelerating my heart rate and I understand for a brief moment why people that swear always seem so angry, aggressive, powerful and as I originally perceived unladylike. The word just comes with such ferocious intensity that it is difficult to contain its effect. The word "FUCK" conveys violence and immense discontent that not only incites anger in the speaker but in the listener as well. La pouvior que cette mot porteuse est incroyable.
Wow. I need to go study. I am ranting like I am on some sort of hallucinogen. God will help me in my exams! Amen! and hopefully he would help me curb this desire to swear.
Easter Sunday (april 5th, 2009)
So I was still having what some people might call a strike with God this morning so I took my time getting out of bed. I usually wake up at 10.30 to get ready but today I lay for an extra 20 minutes contemplating whether or not I should go. I have breakfast and get to the bus stop on time and everything, I guess God was on my side. So I am walking the rest of the way to the Basilica Notre Dame when I see this lady holding the palms and I immediately light up. I love Easter season it just makes me feel like all my problems are minute in comparison, like I shouldn't even have any!
I walk in and of course the church which is usually sparsely populated is fuller than a pack of sardines with special occasioners. I don't even get a hymn book! Imagine. I get myself a bunch of palms and ish because I think I am the best palm sculptor alive. So I spend pretty much the entire mass making my palms into crosses but then the responsorial psalm caught my attention. "Oh Lord my God why have you forsaken me" then the Gospel reading "Eli Eli Lama Sabach tani" which means pretty much the same thing, so I'm thinking someone is feeling me here. Why have I been neglected by those up above? Why has my life suddenly transformed into a pit latrine that expels fumes of week old feaces? I was proper getting raged. Soon after, I think everyone starts reciting "Our father" or was it the gospel reading still I cant recall but I hear "Let your will be done". At almost the same time, a father and his son come to sit in front of me. I had seen them in church a number of times but I always felt a sort of relief that they never sat quite that close to me. The boy is mentally disabled and aggressively so. He is really loud in church and is sort of always a disturbance but his father consistently brings him to church and takes him to receive the Eucharist and everything despite his tendency to make loud noises. So quite obviously my own problems are evaporating rather quickly next to the heat of his own. I mean its hard enough to believe when things are right in your life but when everything is that hard, its arduous to keep one's faith together.
Needless to say going to church today was a reality check. Yes things are not going well but this is when I should really be strong. I will get myself of that Duke wait list no matter what it takes. I And my sincere apologies to the Hausa hotties but this career lady is back on her feet and she will be going to college or university (whichever tickles your fancy). I am going to see the counselor tomorrow for getting off the waitlist tips and I will raid the Duke University phone lines with confirmations of my willingness to attend. Really when I think about it this waitlist thing is all about faith and determination and although I do not have it all back I am slowly building it up again. I will go attend Duke University (even though its in the middle of nowhere) and after that I'd apply to those godforsaken Ivys and hope to God they take me then.
In other news, I still do not have any consistent technology lover- someone who one communicates with frequently on facebook, msn, skype or by telephone that ones does not actually get with physically or even intends to have any real relationship with. I still talk to lets call him Devon, but he officially declared that he will no longer be my technology lover in a 4 page long rap. I am going to Philadelphia next week for a revision course before my IBO exams but this girl Felicia who was supposed to go with me ditched at the last minute. No warning or anything. Now I am alone with this other guy Lucius at my school who is really nice and funny but is not exactly Mr Fine boy or Mr Fresh guy or Mr Id really love to spend my weekend with you. Hes more the Mr Id love to study math with you. What a great week eh?
As a point of clarification to my other post, before anybody goes berserk on me (Recently found out the origin of this word from a romance novel-has something to do with the god Odin-so don't write them off they can be educational), by the saying I "cuddled" with a certain guy I mean exactly that. I lay in bed with him while he nuzzled my neck and caressed my legs. No face sucking and other such things involved, that is saved for someone closer to my age. Come to think on it I have no clue exactly how to suck face. I guess it would be a while before that actually happens because Id be too embarrassed to mention in a heated moment that I cannot exactly make out and on the other hand I cannot just stand there and not reciprocate so Id go with "I'm not in the mood" or "I have to go pee" whichever tickles my fancy.
I walk in and of course the church which is usually sparsely populated is fuller than a pack of sardines with special occasioners. I don't even get a hymn book! Imagine. I get myself a bunch of palms and ish because I think I am the best palm sculptor alive. So I spend pretty much the entire mass making my palms into crosses but then the responsorial psalm caught my attention. "Oh Lord my God why have you forsaken me" then the Gospel reading "Eli Eli Lama Sabach tani" which means pretty much the same thing, so I'm thinking someone is feeling me here. Why have I been neglected by those up above? Why has my life suddenly transformed into a pit latrine that expels fumes of week old feaces? I was proper getting raged. Soon after, I think everyone starts reciting "Our father" or was it the gospel reading still I cant recall but I hear "Let your will be done". At almost the same time, a father and his son come to sit in front of me. I had seen them in church a number of times but I always felt a sort of relief that they never sat quite that close to me. The boy is mentally disabled and aggressively so. He is really loud in church and is sort of always a disturbance but his father consistently brings him to church and takes him to receive the Eucharist and everything despite his tendency to make loud noises. So quite obviously my own problems are evaporating rather quickly next to the heat of his own. I mean its hard enough to believe when things are right in your life but when everything is that hard, its arduous to keep one's faith together.
Needless to say going to church today was a reality check. Yes things are not going well but this is when I should really be strong. I will get myself of that Duke wait list no matter what it takes. I And my sincere apologies to the Hausa hotties but this career lady is back on her feet and she will be going to college or university (whichever tickles your fancy). I am going to see the counselor tomorrow for getting off the waitlist tips and I will raid the Duke University phone lines with confirmations of my willingness to attend. Really when I think about it this waitlist thing is all about faith and determination and although I do not have it all back I am slowly building it up again. I will go attend Duke University (even though its in the middle of nowhere) and after that I'd apply to those godforsaken Ivys and hope to God they take me then.
In other news, I still do not have any consistent technology lover- someone who one communicates with frequently on facebook, msn, skype or by telephone that ones does not actually get with physically or even intends to have any real relationship with. I still talk to lets call him Devon, but he officially declared that he will no longer be my technology lover in a 4 page long rap. I am going to Philadelphia next week for a revision course before my IBO exams but this girl Felicia who was supposed to go with me ditched at the last minute. No warning or anything. Now I am alone with this other guy Lucius at my school who is really nice and funny but is not exactly Mr Fine boy or Mr Fresh guy or Mr Id really love to spend my weekend with you. Hes more the Mr Id love to study math with you. What a great week eh?
As a point of clarification to my other post, before anybody goes berserk on me (Recently found out the origin of this word from a romance novel-has something to do with the god Odin-so don't write them off they can be educational), by the saying I "cuddled" with a certain guy I mean exactly that. I lay in bed with him while he nuzzled my neck and caressed my legs. No face sucking and other such things involved, that is saved for someone closer to my age. Come to think on it I have no clue exactly how to suck face. I guess it would be a while before that actually happens because Id be too embarrassed to mention in a heated moment that I cannot exactly make out and on the other hand I cannot just stand there and not reciprocate so Id go with "I'm not in the mood" or "I have to go pee" whichever tickles my fancy.
Inconvenient realities
So its me again. I did not get into any of my dream schools. Nothing humbles you more than a series of rejections so I can say I am drowning in humility. I mean Ive spent the last two years working towards this one goal. I have had some pretty amazing experiences like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and attending conferences filled with the most amazing people but none of that overcomes the terrible disappointment. The problem now is I have no clue where to go. I have some pretty good offers-NYU,GWU...but that's just not for me. At least its not what I have worked so hard for.
Then comes the other problem what do I really want to do with my life. Perhaps study medicine or become a well celebrated artist. The most appealing profession to me at the moment is becoming a housewife (No jokes). Does anyone know any Hausa hotties looking for someone to have their babies? Id love to fill that void.
To add insult to injury I recently had my heart broken by a guy I hadn't even spoken to. This just shows how retarded I am when it comes to relationships. I really have no clue what to do.
I like someone and I spend my night cuddling with his elder brother! What kind of retard does that. That same night this guy who is always just there decides to tell me that he will no longer chase my egotistic ass (Kind of funny when you think about it).
So here's my life up to date at the moment and here's the gist of it all-I do not know if I can go back to serving God the way I used to. For me it pretty much was like this-ask and it shall be given. I justified my belief in Gods existence by proving to myself that his word is true. But now that everything is falling apart I do not have the strength to hold on to such flimsy beliefs. I fear that I may fall away from Him altogether if I don't find something else to keep my faith strong. I definitely believe He exists but at this point I do not really feel like putting an effort in His service. Now that I think on it I only ever really did all the godly stuff I did because I wanted something out of it but don't we all? If its not an eternity in heaven we want Him to keep our families safe and our lives together. Underneath we are all just really self centered individuals thinking about the fate of our souls.
This post is getting wierd. Goodbye.
Then comes the other problem what do I really want to do with my life. Perhaps study medicine or become a well celebrated artist. The most appealing profession to me at the moment is becoming a housewife (No jokes). Does anyone know any Hausa hotties looking for someone to have their babies? Id love to fill that void.
To add insult to injury I recently had my heart broken by a guy I hadn't even spoken to. This just shows how retarded I am when it comes to relationships. I really have no clue what to do.
I like someone and I spend my night cuddling with his elder brother! What kind of retard does that. That same night this guy who is always just there decides to tell me that he will no longer chase my egotistic ass (Kind of funny when you think about it).
So here's my life up to date at the moment and here's the gist of it all-I do not know if I can go back to serving God the way I used to. For me it pretty much was like this-ask and it shall be given. I justified my belief in Gods existence by proving to myself that his word is true. But now that everything is falling apart I do not have the strength to hold on to such flimsy beliefs. I fear that I may fall away from Him altogether if I don't find something else to keep my faith strong. I definitely believe He exists but at this point I do not really feel like putting an effort in His service. Now that I think on it I only ever really did all the godly stuff I did because I wanted something out of it but don't we all? If its not an eternity in heaven we want Him to keep our families safe and our lives together. Underneath we are all just really self centered individuals thinking about the fate of our souls.
This post is getting wierd. Goodbye.
Random Musings
"Life, like the scent of a rose, rises, becoming more potent and often climaxing until it shatters like glass in the sky"
It appears my life has reached a state of constant returns to age. I mean when I was fourteen, I was known to be 16 and as I grew older my maturity escalated at an alarming rate. Now I am eighteen and it seems to many that I am older than my age and i find that by trying to grow too old too fast I happened to miss out on all the goodies. Par exemple, in year 8 I spent umpteen hours relishing at the sight of year 12 hotties who unfortunately preferred the more mature bodies of their mates and immediate juniors, hence I missed out on the sheer childishness of dating greasy, inexperienced, lanky boys JFK (Just for kicks). I spent my senior years tied to my books under the self imposed dogma that "Education was most important". Now I find myself craving something more contrasting than Rationalism and Empiricism of Locke and Hume, more controversial than the outrageous theories of evolution in the 18th century (was it), more exciting than the everlasting flora of Mount Kilimanjaro.
It holds true now, more than ever, that the most important things in life are people and saying yes to all life has to offer instead of stupidly but optimistically putting all my eggs in one basket.
It appears my life has reached a state of constant returns to age. I mean when I was fourteen, I was known to be 16 and as I grew older my maturity escalated at an alarming rate. Now I am eighteen and it seems to many that I am older than my age and i find that by trying to grow too old too fast I happened to miss out on all the goodies. Par exemple, in year 8 I spent umpteen hours relishing at the sight of year 12 hotties who unfortunately preferred the more mature bodies of their mates and immediate juniors, hence I missed out on the sheer childishness of dating greasy, inexperienced, lanky boys JFK (Just for kicks). I spent my senior years tied to my books under the self imposed dogma that "Education was most important". Now I find myself craving something more contrasting than Rationalism and Empiricism of Locke and Hume, more controversial than the outrageous theories of evolution in the 18th century (was it), more exciting than the everlasting flora of Mount Kilimanjaro.
It holds true now, more than ever, that the most important things in life are people and saying yes to all life has to offer instead of stupidly but optimistically putting all my eggs in one basket.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
