Easter Sunday (april 5th, 2009)

So I was still having what some people might call a strike with God this morning so I took my time getting out of bed. I usually wake up at 10.30 to get ready but today I lay for an extra 20 minutes contemplating whether or not I should go. I have breakfast and get to the bus stop on time and everything, I guess God was on my side. So I am walking the rest of the way to the Basilica Notre Dame when I see this lady holding the palms and I immediately light up. I love Easter season it just makes me feel like all my problems are minute in comparison, like I shouldn't even have any!

I walk in and of course the church which is usually sparsely populated is fuller than a pack of sardines with special occasioners. I don't even get a hymn book! Imagine. I get myself a bunch of palms and ish because I think I am the best palm sculptor alive. So I spend pretty much the entire mass making my palms into crosses but then the responsorial psalm caught my attention. "Oh Lord my God why have you forsaken me" then the Gospel reading "Eli Eli Lama Sabach tani" which means pretty much the same thing, so I'm thinking someone is feeling me here. Why have I been neglected by those up above? Why has my life suddenly transformed into a pit latrine that expels fumes of week old feaces? I was proper getting raged. Soon after, I think everyone starts reciting "Our father" or was it the gospel reading still I cant recall but I hear "Let your will be done". At almost the same time, a father and his son come to sit in front of me. I had seen them in church a number of times but I always felt a sort of relief that they never sat quite that close to me. The boy is mentally disabled and aggressively so. He is really loud in church and is sort of always a disturbance but his father consistently brings him to church and takes him to receive the Eucharist and everything despite his tendency to make loud noises. So quite obviously my own problems are evaporating rather quickly next to the heat of his own. I mean its hard enough to believe when things are right in your life but when everything is that hard, its arduous to keep one's faith together.

Needless to say going to church today was a reality check. Yes things are not going well but this is when I should really be strong. I will get myself of that Duke wait list no matter what it takes. I And my sincere apologies to the Hausa hotties but this career lady is back on her feet and she will be going to college or university (whichever tickles your fancy). I am going to see the counselor tomorrow for getting off the waitlist tips and I will raid the Duke University phone lines with confirmations of my willingness to attend. Really when I think about it this waitlist thing is all about faith and determination and although I do not have it all back I am slowly building it up again. I will go attend Duke University (even though its in the middle of nowhere) and after that I'd apply to those godforsaken Ivys and hope to God they take me then.

In other news, I still do not have any consistent technology lover- someone who one communicates with frequently on facebook, msn, skype or by telephone that ones does not actually get with physically or even intends to have any real relationship with. I still talk to lets call him Devon, but he officially declared that he will no longer be my technology lover in a 4 page long rap. I am going to Philadelphia next week for a revision course before my IBO exams but this girl Felicia who was supposed to go with me ditched at the last minute. No warning or anything. Now I am alone with this other guy Lucius at my school who is really nice and funny but is not exactly Mr Fine boy or Mr Fresh guy or Mr Id really love to spend my weekend with you. Hes more the Mr Id love to study math with you. What a great week eh?

As a point of clarification to my other post, before anybody goes berserk on me (Recently found out the origin of this word from a romance novel-has something to do with the god Odin-so don't write them off they can be educational), by the saying I "cuddled" with a certain guy I mean exactly that. I lay in bed with him while he nuzzled my neck and caressed my legs. No face sucking and other such things involved, that is saved for someone closer to my age. Come to think on it I have no clue exactly how to suck face. I guess it would be a while before that actually happens because Id be too embarrassed to mention in a heated moment that I cannot exactly make out and on the other hand I cannot just stand there and not reciprocate so Id go with "I'm not in the mood" or "I have to go pee" whichever tickles my fancy.