Inconvenient realities

So its me again. I did not get into any of my dream schools. Nothing humbles you more than a series of rejections so I can say I am drowning in humility. I mean Ive spent the last two years working towards this one goal. I have had some pretty amazing experiences like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and attending conferences filled with the most amazing people but none of that overcomes the terrible disappointment. The problem now is I have no clue where to go. I have some pretty good offers-NYU,GWU...but that's just not for me. At least its not what I have worked so hard for.

Then comes the other problem what do I really want to do with my life. Perhaps study medicine or become a well celebrated artist. The most appealing profession to me at the moment is becoming a housewife (No jokes). Does anyone know any Hausa hotties looking for someone to have their babies? Id love to fill that void.

To add insult to injury I recently had my heart broken by a guy I hadn't even spoken to. This just shows how retarded I am when it comes to relationships. I really have no clue what to do.
I like someone and I spend my night cuddling with his elder brother! What kind of retard does that. That same night this guy who is always just there decides to tell me that he will no longer chase my egotistic ass (Kind of funny when you think about it).

So here's my life up to date at the moment and here's the gist of it all-I do not know if I can go back to serving God the way I used to. For me it pretty much was like this-ask and it shall be given. I justified my belief in Gods existence by proving to myself that his word is true. But now that everything is falling apart I do not have the strength to hold on to such flimsy beliefs. I fear that I may fall away from Him altogether if I don't find something else to keep my faith strong. I definitely believe He exists but at this point I do not really feel like putting an effort in His service. Now that I think on it I only ever really did all the godly stuff I did because I wanted something out of it but don't we all? If its not an eternity in heaven we want Him to keep our families safe and our lives together. Underneath we are all just really self centered individuals thinking about the fate of our souls.

This post is getting wierd. Goodbye.