I moved to Canada from Nigeria a couple of years back and one of the first things I hated was the fact that people did not speak their minds. I mean, I would trot about town with my zipper undone or with meat lodged in the crevices of my teeth and no one ever thought it necessary to call these defects to my attention. It seemed to me like they assumed that it was the more appropriate thing to let you mind your own business. They seemed to show almost no concern when it came to things that could be offensive. Par exemple, once in art class we were to be making stencils for silk screening but unfortunately that's just not my thing. I hate working with computers, I am more the old fashioned painter. My teacher in response to my lack of progress commented on my inefficiency with the offensive assertion that I was the underachiever of the day. Only one person laughed and you already know he wasn't raised by Canadians. My teacher spent the better part of his life on Spanish soil.
This sent my thoughts flying the several thousand miles home to Nigeria. Every morning on our way to school my friends and I, would have this conversation
Ugochi: Mimi you have eye shit.
Maiya: Well you have waaaay more eye shit than me and your shirt isnt tucked in properly
Ugochi: Did you brush today 'cos your mouth is smelling...is that plaque I see on your teeth?
Maiya: Stop spitting on me! The acid in your breath is burning my face and go and brush your hair you look like you just rolled out of bed
And we would all go to school looking fresher than MoFo's (pardon my french). This type of honesty seems desirable and it is definitely appreciated when you are an SS1 girl hustling to look your best. However where does one draw the line? Do you speak your mind to everyone or just people you are well acquainted with? What defines "well acquainted"? Must you have known this someone for four weeks or must this person have spent at least one night with you complete with the harsh realities of morning breath et al? When does speaking your mind stop being blatant, well appreciated honesty and becomes evidence of forwardness and insensitivity? When it comes to ones thoughts which is the best policy? The hush hush simplicity of Canadians or the crude honesty of Nigerians?
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I wouldn't describe Nigerians as being crudely honest.. What you're describing with people you grew up with, sounds more like friendly banter amongst friends..
ReplyDeleteNot exactly the kind of thing you'd expect from the average person you'd bump into while walking to school in Canada..
Id call it call it crude honesty cos its more cruel than it needs to be...or maybe I've been here way too long.
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