Sunday, June 14, 2009

The First Time

Recently, someone asked me how old I was and the question kind of caught me off guard because people usually assume I'm old enough for anything really. In response to this question I go, "16... no 17...OMG I'm 18!". How in heavens did I lose track of time? Who forgets this stuff? I decided it's time to reminisce about the firsts...I can't afford to forget those.

First Love
His name is TG. Looking at his facebook pictures now I have no idea what I saw in him. In primary 2, before valentine's we had to pick our valentine's name out of a hat (It was actually a bucket). I picked TG and he picked me as well and I remember being convinced we were meant to be. Unfortunately, my name came up twice and due to that unfortunate technicality my valentine was some other random due I didn't give a rat's ass about.

First Boyfriend
UI, my Hausa hottie, is definitely dreamy. Dare I say, he is beautiful. I had agreed to go out with some other boys before him but I refuse to include any affair shorter than three weeks in my list of relationships. I was in SS2 when he sent for me. He was a year older. I must have been very happy that day because I went. He approached me with his entourage of male friends, all of whom I was irrevocably terrified of. He then proceeded to say "I have been seeing you around this school and I want to get to know you". *Cringe*. I should have run away then but with those body builders at our heels, all I could do was smile. He never really asked if I would date him and I guess I just loved how he took charge or at least his friends did. I mean once, I was sitting at prep and he came to pick me up. He always walked me back to my residence. He asked if I was ready and I said I wasn't. His friend then proceeded to gather my books and put them in my hands and practically ordered me to do his bidding. I don suffer sha.

First (real) Kiss
Mayowa and his friends are the reason I am skeptical about Yoruba offense to the wonderful Yoruba boys out there. Upon meeting me his first comment was "How old are you?". I was 16. "You aren't legal for most things...but your legal for other things (tracing his finger down my legs)". He told me he was 21. I was happy, I like older boys. He asked me out the next time he was at my place. I said no, but I decided why not give him a hug before I leave him alone in my living room. He decided that would be a great time to force his tongue down my throat. I was curious so I let him devour my lips a moment longer. My eyes we're wide open. I cried after, reason being, I had been lip raped by a deceitful, overbearing, 19 year old who unfortunately smelt like heaven.

First Party
I was in JS3 and it was at the infamous 11:45. I arrived way too early and I asked my driver to circle a bit. I went alone because my sister wanted to go with her friends. I was to meet them there. She gave me a couple of tips though before I left. "Go upstairs, downstairs is for razz people". The music wasn't even playing when I entered. I said hi to some people I knew. Everyone was sitting and standing in groups. I proceeded to climb the stairs. 1, 2, 3..."Sorry sister upstairs is closed", said the bartender. "I know", I replied but I kept on walking because everyone was now staring. I couldn't stop now. The huge black padlock on the gate was obvious from where I was standing but I kept thinking to myself "Downstairs is for razz people". I got to the top of the stairs and banged on it for a while. The lady there said, "We are closed" with no sympathy. I took the walk of shame back down the stairs, wishing all the while that the ground will open underneath me. I ran to the bathroom and hid there till the party was live. This was no doubt the most embarrassing day of my life. I never went upstairs. I felt like I deserved to remain downstairs with the razz people.


  1. 18???I wish i still was!!im jealous!!im no lnger a teenager!!!!hehe
    LMAOOOOOOOO!!!!OMG!DOWNSTAIRS IS FOR RAZZ PEOPLE!!SOME hausa boys are hot!!!!u must have been a hot somebori!11;45 brings back memories!i should block about my experience sometime!
    have a great week sweets!

  2. u r 18?
    God what i wld give to be 18 again!
    Damn, some stories u've got........

  3. welcome to blogsville

    I remember the famous was the ish then

  4. lol lip raped you, now that is new to me. i liked your stories. Nicee

  5. ~Tinu~
    There's nothing to be jealous about. I'm just in the middle of nowhere at 18. Trust me this hausa boy was gorgeous (if you forget the weird accent). As for my hotness, I would agree with you, I am still a little on the hot teeth et al.

    Wow...I guess I should enjoy the age and stop rushing to get older. After, 18 years of living, I better have some stories. If not, I might as well just kpai. Thanks for stopping by.

    Thanks a lot, that was my first official welcome. 11:45: may it's soul rest in peace abi?

    It was forced and just nasty hence the term "lip rape". I appreciate the compliment but trust me at the time I would have died if anyone found out especially about the party.

    Thanks for stopping by loves.

  6. hey, u're 18! i am kind of smiling sha. Don't worry, there are always weird party entry situations

  7. well because you truly belong where the razz people do

  8. ~Yinkuslolo~
    So I have heard and trust me after this, nothing shakes me.

    Lol...I have to agree with you at that moment I really did.

  9. lmao! at belonging with the razz people! classic!